Sleeping to Dream
by lostmarble
Summary: Kagome, pondering a recurring dream by the light of the fire. (I don't want to tell you what she's dreaming about...it will ruin the surprise) PG-13 for implied adultsexual situations


_(Disclaimer: This is not my song-it belongs to the fabulous Jason Mraz-and these are not my characters, obviously...if they were, it wouldn't be a FAN fic, now, would it?)_

* * *

The small fire burns warm ona cool night. The campsite is asleep, with the exception of a lone figure, illuminated by the fire. Her blue-gray eyes are unfocused as she stares through the flames towards someone miles away… 

Her headphones blast the end of a heavy metal song, then the music becomes more gentle. She glares at the disc man as though it had betrayed her, and then sighs.

'This song isn't helping…at all. I was hoping that the music would take my mind off of him…but apparently it's only going to make things worse. I can't hear this song without relating to it…'

_I'm dreaming of sleeping next to you  
__I'm feeling like a lost little boy in a brand new town_

'…every time I fall asleep…without fail…I dream of waking up with that silver head on the pillow beside me, and running my fingers through it, tracing his face to memorize it before he wakes…I had dreams like this about Inuyasha. Sure I dreamed about us having sex, but those dreams were about lust. This…this is just about the intimacy…'

_I'm counting my sheep andeach one that passes is another dream to ashes  
__And they all fall down._

'…Plus, my dreams of being with Inuyasha crumbled after he made it clear that he still felt for Kikyo…just because she was his first love, that doesn't mean it hurt any less. She _is_ nothing but grave dirt and ash, and I am made to feel like the copy!…but, as they say, time heals all wounds…' She leans back and closes her eyes, regaining a more serene, if slightly sad, expression, seeing, as though burned into her memory, the smooth silver hair and skin so pale that it seemed to belong to either one of the dead or an angel. '…The latter,' she decides, remembering how the light made a halo around his head as his silver hair pooled on the pillow. The only thing marring his marble skin was the missing arm, and the purple marks on his cheeks, arms, wrists, and hips…

_As I lay me down tonight,  
__I close my eyes: what a beautiful sight_

She gives a small, sad smile, unseen by anyone but the trees and the stars. 'I think I would love him less if he were utterly perfect…perhaps this is my curse? To love men that I can only have in my dreams?'

_I'm sleeping to dream about you  
__And I'm damnso tired of having to live without you  
__But I don't mind  
__I'm sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired_

The young girl shifts in her seat, and stretches her legs closer to the fire. The night air holds a chill that raises goose bumps on her arms. She yawns and shiveres, partially due to the cold, but also because it is late, and she was at the point when she is so tired that each yawn sends tremors down her spine. '…but I'm not quite ready to sleep, yet. It's not that I dread seeing him, because…oh!…I don't! it's just that…it's so impossible, and every dream only makes me want to be with him more.'

_I found myself in the riches (Your eyes, your lips, your hair.) Well, you were everywhere. _

'…but that line is…too perfect' the girl laughs ruefully, the sound disturbing the silence of the forest surrounding her. The small form on her sleeping bag shifts in its sleep, and curls its tail around itself for warmth. 'His silver hair, and eyes that defy description as anything other than pure, molten gold…and now I sound like a lovesick schoolgirl.' Another rueful laugh. This time, the red form in the tree above her opens one amber eye, but, his ears swiveling, catches no sound or scent that should cause alarm, and settles back into his slumber.

_But I woke up in the ditches. I hit the light and I thought you might be here  
__But you were nowhere. You were nowhere at home._

'...The problem with dreaming about him is definitely the waking up part. Either I wake up here, lying on the grimy ground with a crick in my neck, or at home, in bed, but alone. And it never fails, I always look over, half awake, squinting in whatever light is available, expecting to see him beside me, or to feel the warmth in the bed where he had been …but nothing. Cold and empty…" but her eyes droop, as they have been doing for some time now, and this time, she can barely open them again. Reluctantly, she stumbles to her sleeping bag, moving over the little fox kit to make room for her nearly comatose body…

_As I lay me back to sleep  
__Lord I pray that I can keep  
__Sleeping to dream about you  
__And I'm so damn tired of having to live without you  
__But I don't mind  
__So I'm sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired_

She yawns, shivers, and curls around the fox kit, enjoying the warmth, but half wishing it were the warmth of another, larger body. As she drifts off, a single tear slides down her cheek, catching the warm light of the fire and the colder light of the stars as it traces its way to her pillow.

_(It's just a little a lullaby to keep myself from crying myself to sleep at night._

_But once I dry my eyes, I'll climb on.)_

Miles away, a demon lord smiles in his sleep, seeing blue-gray eyes and a half-sad smile, and wipes the tear away.

_Sleeping to dream about you  
__I'm so tired of having to live without you  
__So I'm sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired_

And the last notes of music fade, with no one to hear but the stars and the trees…


End file.
